


Apartment 3B

by ParadoxDreamer



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Established Relationship, Felix and Tucker use insults as pet names, Foursome - M/M/M/M, M/M, Polyamory, a lot of swearing, also everybody is gay because reasons, open relationship at first, rated mature for future chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 17:13:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4795658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ParadoxDreamer/pseuds/ParadoxDreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tucker and Felix are dating, they may seem like they hate each other, but they actually have a pretty good system going on. Locus and Wash just moved in across the hall from them, and they're completely messing up that system.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apartment 3B

**Author's Note:**

> So I'm blaming this on captainlavernius on tumblr, who got me to ship these four; and also on a friend of mine who gave me this idea. I am in no way a very good writer, but I decided that this OT4 really needed more fanfiction. I think the name that was decided on for this pairing was Tuckinglolix, so, that's what this is I guess.

Tucker was used to waking up before he needed to. His asshat of a boyfriend had weird sleeping habits and was none too quiet when he rolled out of bed whenever he couldn't fall asleep.

But when he woke up at 5:30 in the goddamn morning to talking on the other side of their apartment (curse his sensitive ears!!) and rolled over to see Felix's side of the bed empty, he said screw it, and got up to see what the fuck that asshole was doing.

Nothing.

Felix was doing nothing.

He walked out of the bathroom at the same time that Tucker opened the door to their bedroom. An annoyed expression was on his face that Tucker was sure he mirrored.

They paused. Looked at each other. Then at their front door, where the talking was coming from. And back at each other.

“...What the fuck?” Felix voiced the same thing that Tucker was thinking, and walked toward the front door.

“Dude, wait!” Tucker started, and grabbed his arm. "Don't just go out there! It might be like... a burglar or something.” He said, slightly panicky.

Felix stared at him like he had three heads. “Are you a moron?”

“Shut up! Who else would it be at five thirty in the morning?!” Tucker whisper yelled. “Maybe our fucking neighbors just got back from a night at a bar or something!” Felix whisper yelled back.

“We don’t have neighbors!” Tucker fought.

Felix glared at him for a second. The voices outside, which had faded slightly over the past minute, got louder again, like they were directly outside the door. Then, Felix sighed in annoyance and walked back into their room.

“Wait-” “Shut up, I’m just grabbing one of my knives.” Felix snarled, grabbing one of the daggers he had in his knife collection.

“What about me?” Tucker asked when Felix walked back out of the room, now armed. He looked around like Felix was hiding something behind his back.

“What about you?” Felix asked, eyebrow raised.

“I wanna weapon too!” Tucker responded, voice shrill.

Felix looked at him incredulously. “Really?” He questioned. “Yes, really! If there’s a mass murderer out there, I don’t want to be empty handed!” Tucker tried to reason.

"Okay, first of all, there isn't a mass murderer out there. There's not even a fucking burglar out there. Palomo probably pushed the wrong fucking button in the elevator again." Felix sighed, rubbing his temples.

Charles Palomo lived on the floor above them, and often took extra hours at the coffee shop he worked. He had started to make a habit of getting home anywhere between 4 and 6 in the morning. Only to just then remember that he had classes at 9 a.m.

"But what if it's not?!" Tucker argued.

"Well then I'll protect you from the big bad murderer." Felix sassed, reaching up to pat the top Tucker's head, who slapped his arm away.

"Felix!"

Felix groaned in exasperation, “Can’t you find your own goddamn weapon?”

"Can't I use on of your knives or something?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah, right." Felix chuckled, stalking his way to the front door.

Tucker made an annoyed sound. “Fine then! Leave me defenseless in front of what could be a murderer. I see how much you care!” He crossed his arms and turned his back on his boyfriend, making a dramatic sniffling noise.

Felix froze for a second, and then let out an audible groan. “Really, Tucker?” He questioned, turning back to the other man, who let out another fake sniffle.

“Goddamnit.” Felix mumbled, and stalked his way back into his room again, looking around. Tucker smirked.

“Oh! Here we go” He exclaimed and grabbed a bottle of his cologne. He held it out to Tucker with his own smirk on his face.

“What the fuck dude?! What do you expect me to do with this?” Tucker asked, spinning back around and grabbing the bottle.

“Well, it’s pretty strong cologne, if you spray a shit ton, they’ll be gagging while I stab them. Which will be pretty fucking funny.” Felix chuckled, and walked to the door slowly, flipping the knife in his hand just to show off a bit.

"Can't I have a knife or something?"

"Tucker, babe, I care about you to an extent. But I am not letting you within three feet of any of my knives." He chuckled, stalking the rest of the way to the front door.

Tucker huffed in response and followed him, wielding the bottle of cologne like it actually was a weapon.

Tucker made it to the door, where Felix was leaning his ear against the door. The voices outside had faded again, but they were getting louder. He looked at Tucker and silently held up three fingers.

3...

2...

1...

Felix swung the door open, clasping his fist around the hilt of his knife and Tucker brandishing the cologne bottle.

And they both froze.

Two attractive men were carrying boxes into the room across the hallway. Well, they had been. Now they had frozen, staring at Tucker and Felix and their now open door.

And the knife in Felix’s hand.

Felix looked down at it for a second, before swinging around and throwing it back into their apartment. He heard a satisfying clunk as it stuck itself to the wall (All the time he had spent learning how to throw knives had paid off). Tucker quickly hid the bottle behind his back.

“Hello.” They chimed in unison, smiling as if there was nothing wrong with them and they were completely normal.

“Hi...” One of the strangers replied after a minute, still staring at them like they had three heads.

To be fair they were probably a sight to behold. Felix had gotten out of bed earlier with extremely bad bed head, and Tucker was only wearing a pair of teal boxers with yellow polka dots. Also, the fact that they had just threw their apartment door open wielding weapons- well, a weapon- probably had something to do with it.

There was another awkward silence as the two pairs stared at each other.

“So, are you guys moving in?” Felix asked a conversational tone of voice, leaning against the door frame.

“Um...Yeah.” The same one confirmed, sharing a look with the other. The one that spoke had tan skin and sandy blonde hair that was dark at the roots. The other one had dark skin, and dark hair that was pulled back neatly.

“That’s nice...” Tucker cut in, sharing a look with Felix. “Well, we’re just gonna...go now...” He grabbed Felix’s arm and dragged him back into their apartment, closing the door on the two strangers.

They both had their ears pressed back against the door the second it closed. There was no more talking, and it was completely silent for a few seconds, before the footsteps started back up and the door across the hall closed. Tucker and Felix both sighed in relief and backed away from their door and into their living room.

“I’m so glad I wasn’t sleeping naked tonight.” Tucker mumbled, plopping down on the couch.

“Yeah, and I’m glad that I actually looked before I stabbed somebody.” Felix replied, temper flaring as he pulled his knife out of the wall. “Fucking burglars!? Why the hell would a burglar be on the third floor? You know who lives on the third floor? Us! No one else! Except those guys now apparently.” He inspected the blade delicately, and scoffed. “You fucking made me bend the tip.”

“Bow chica bow wow.” Tucker sniggered. “And don’t even start, you were worried too!”

“I wasn’t worried! You were worried! I was just humoring you!” Felix fought back.

“Yeah, right!” Tucker rolled his eyes. “You were fucking scared, bitch!”

The beginnings of their fight was interrupted by a knock at the door, and Felix groaned in irritation and stomped over to open it. It was the blonde guy again.

“Yes, how may I help you.” Felix asked him as if they had never seen each other before.

“Um... is everything alright?” He asked, looking behind him into the apartment like he had heard a live lion instead of two men arguing.

“Yes, yes everything’s fine. That asshole in there is just being a dick.” Felix responded, pointing back over his shoulder with one of his hands, then using it to smooth his hair down in one quick motion.

I mean. 

This guy was really cute.

“Fuck you dude!” Tucker yelled back from the living room.

Felix rolled his eyes at his new, probably rightfully confused, neighbor. “Yeah, we kinda fight a lot. I'll actually go ahead and apologize right now for that.”

“Alright then.” Blondie said. “Uh, sorry if we woke you up earlier.” He finished.

Felix hummed in response. At the same time Tucker shouted, “Sorry that asswipe over there almost stabbed you!”

Felix chewed on his inner cheek, rolling his eyes again. “We’ll shut up now. Bye, I guess.” He said, and closed the door on Blondie's face. Hey, he and his friend may be attractive, but they had woken him up at this ungodly hour (Okay, so technically he had already been awake, but still), and had interrupted his and Tucker’s routine ‘we just woke up and we’re annoyed and tired’ argument. He didn’t need to be nice.

He walked over to the couch, figuring that it was useless to try to go back to bed. He flopped down next to Tucker, and grabbed his sketchbook from the coffee table.

He had just opened up to the rough sketch that he had been working on last night, when Tucker piped up.

“Dude they were really fucking hot.”

**Author's Note:**

> So ideas from this chapter were kind of inspired by an episode of Drake and Josh. I don't know, I just really liked the idea of Tucker using the cologne as a "weapon." Also, sorry for the somewhat short chapter, I'll try to make them longer in the future.


End file.
